Licker leads us on loops along the liver (river)… Run #2240 – Monday 24 April 2023 Hare: Licker Location: Noosaville As we gathered in the carpark of the Villa Noosa Hotel, there was quite a bit of money transactions going on with the Hash Cash. Your Noosa H3 committee wanted to give back to our fabulous members with a subsidised run appropriately hared by our GM, Licker. The trail took us through the very desirable real estate of Noosa Waters, namely along Mermaid Quay. There were many checks to keep the group together, with Minder doing a lot of stationary checks and of course many reluctant walkers to check any checks and just awaiting others to call! There was an enthusiastic Lunatic that did manage to suss out a few checks though! Soon, there was the walkers and runners split. The runners trail lead us along Hilton Terrace only to loop back along the Hilton Esplande. As we were running along Gympie Terrace, there was a fast white car passing with Kaffir shouting obscenities out the window at us. We knew that he was heading to the Villa Noosa Hotel where he thought the bucket was. Kaffir visited the Villa Noosa Hotel twice and still couldn’t find anybody so he rang All Fours. The runners managed to catch up with the walkers along the Noosa River near Quota Park. Tucked away behind the Noosa Riverside Tennis courts was the BUCKET! It was a very scenic sunset by the Noosa River to host the bucket, but we had to compete with the squawking birds overhead, wind, traffic and constant nattering of the hashers! A very domesticated Licker cooked a batch of delicious sausage rolls to nibble. There were a number of visitors: Mr & Mrs Biggles from East Grinstead (on holiday from Blighty), Sue (no one made her cum) and Jane (Kaffir’s neighbour over the fence). A very short succinct run report was given by Roobarb. Birthday down downs were given to DT and Kaffir. There was a short 650m walk back to the Villa Noosa Hotel for the On Inn for a relatively early dinner. Thanks for the run our illustrious GM, Licker! On On to Sunshine Beach again next week and may the weather gods be kinder this time…

Rain no wet us (fair weather hashers!)…

Run #2239 – Monday 17 April 2023
Hare: Ride On & Pusher
Location: Sunshine Beach

The diehards of Noosa H3 turned up tonight, even with the threat of precipitation and running (ambling at best ????) by torchlight, whilst the no-shows sat in the comfort of their abodes watching Home & Away most probably, supping on a nice glass of red! We gathered at Eddie Webb’s Park, adjacent to the Sunshine Beach SLSC, eagerly awaiting instructions from our two ‘visitors’ Ride On and Pusher. We had to hold onto our hats, as the wind coming up through the gully (Venturi effect for the smart arses) was force4. Good job Digit wasn’t here, she’d have been blown away, into the next suburb.

The Hares said there was a slight problem, they set it yesterday and rain had fallen but assured us, they’d checked today and all was good. ???? After that BS flogging, they continued to tell us that the run was up Crank Street but there might not be any arrows at the end ???? So we set off in pursuit of our imaginary trail. As we lost trail immediately we sort of spread out, with the usual runners vanishing and ‘not’ calling. Eventually, Ma’ Dog found a semblance of a check and faint arrows to the right on Henderson. Next Week and All Fours caught up and we actually ignored the only good arrow and headed up Duke St, only to be called back by Bundy. Up the stairs by Crystal Shores to Elanda St, going right to the intersection on Ferguson. Here they all were (the walking fraternity) milling about in all directions but arrows were scarier than ‘Holysmoke’ buying you a drink at the Yacht Club. Not a skerrick of chalk in any form was found, so like ‘pigs to a trough’ and their yearning for sustenance, someone mentioned that the drink stop was nigh. Up Duke St, still checking for arrows but who were they trying to fool, as no one gave a ‘rats ass’ by then. As we turned up Ferris St, low and behold a clear arrow was laid before us.

Ride On was patiently awaiting in his palace driveway but not expecting us quite that early. You’d think by the way hashers attacked the drinks, they’d just run a marathon but they were free after all! Ride On attempted to gain a little respect for his not so well marked trail, by informing us, that the trail was out of Ferris and left up Bryan St to David Low. Some did, some didn’t, I mean really! Why go left uphill, when you can go right down hill, all the way back to the chariots and bucket. By the way, it was Kondoms idea not mine! ???? Not long after the ‘led astrays’ got back, the rest arrived after their arduous 35 minute jaunt.

With the wind still howling, we adjourned to a gazebo down the hill, for the circle and nosh, supplied by Pusher. We had a visitor from Darwin, who now resides here, reasoning being, she said there were no hills in Darwin. Someone said her name was ‘Thresher’ but her number plate said ‘Zebra’, so which ever one takes your fancy. The usual charges abounded, some well thought out, with the usual lame ones added. Blameless having the best for Next Week and All Fours for their new song renditions, putting Rodgers and Hammerstein to shame. A good night after all, so thanks to Ride On and Pusher for entertaining and feeding us. Special out to ‘Holysmoke’ for doing the Raffle and winning it again, something real suss there! ???? The committee again, amazed us with their organisational skills and well run circle, we just didn’t know what they’d do next, mind you neither did they! ????

On On
Ma’ Dog

Mixin’ me toasties for Easter

Run #2238 – Monday 10 April 2023
Hare: Wet Check & Kondom
Location: Bli Bli

In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you’ll be the grandest hasher in the Easter Parade… Well there certainly were quite a few bunnies that rocked up but the Easter bonnets was won by Possum and Kaffir in their ‘matchy matchy’ outfits! The run was an earlier start at 4:30pm in Bli Bli but there was only one white rabbit, namely Miss Belinda Snoggs who went to visit a friend in hospital (so she says!). At the start, the hares’ instructions was “something, something, something BIFURCATION”. Why do people think that hashers actually listen to instructions, let alone understand big words like ‘bifurcation’ – otherwise known as a forkin’ the road!

The trail led us onto the Bli Bli Bridge over the Maroochy River and past the Sunshine Castle which is for sale!  We encountered a number of parks: Princess Drive Park, Wharf Road Drainage Reserve, Cutters Ridge Park and of course Muller Park! There were numerous number of checks, on backs, runners and walkers splits to keep us all entertained and together most of the time. There must have been a feeding frenzie in Bli Bli – the mozzies were out in force as Next Week managed to count 80 bites on one shoulder (they apparently managed to bite through his long sleeve top!).

A summarised run report was delivered by Woof Woof, who scored it 2/10 because there was no drink stop. However, do not fear as we had Tailend who kept everyone well lubricated with down down drinks. There were 4 visitors: Honeymoon and Donga from Thailand, Banger (Floosey’s bro) and Miss Belinda Snoggs. Nafa surprised everyone with a new shop he had opened in Bli Bli called ‘Master Baits’ or was it ‘Bait Masters’ for fishing tackle/supplies?! Digit Digester got a down down from Plucker as she got upset that he had taken the front passenger seat of Ma’ Dog’s car.

Banger managed to keep us all entertained with his joke about a poor little bunny (portrayed by All Fours – hopping around) who died and went to heaven after ‘mixin’-me-toasties!’ The raffle was drawn by Honeymoon and it was deservedly won by our DSI – Holy Smoke! Holy Smoke apologises if anyone gets cold symptoms after the hash (too bad, bonus if you get sick!) – she felt better yesterday…

Thanks to our bunnies (hares) Wet Check and Kondom for the Easter run, chocolate eggs and supper (no ham, cheese and onion toastie were served)! May that poor bunny RIP…

Run #2237 – Monday 3 April 2023
Hare: Weak As
Location: Noosaville

Birthday Boy’s Bush Bashing…

Our birthday boy and hare Weak As, started the run at the Eenie Creek Road just behind the Salvos store in Noosaville. The trail lead us through the industrial sites around Rene, Action and Production Streets. Finally, we came across some virgin territory off Hoffman Drive, near the Noosa Civic and reached the drink stop. The drink stop was ably assisted by ‘a pair of good knees’ between them aka Boobs and Delilah.

The runners trail went from new roads/development area into the bush. Beams was convinced that we were heading towards the Noosa Aerodrome, whereas Nafa did his usual and went off and did some alternate route. It was getting dark in the bush but luckily most of us had torches. Weak As, cleverly lead the runners back to the Hoffman Drive new roads near the drink stop, crossing the road to loop back into the Noosa Civic shopping centre towards home. A great 5.95km trail for the runners and a 4km (ish) for the walkers. Top Down, Woof Woof and Whistleblower were all fast walkers but didn’t complain it was too short!  Even Unremarkable and Screamer thought it was a very pleasant jaunty stroll for those who are over 70 years old! While we’re on the topic of seniors, Screamer said they don’t do carparking spaces for seniors anymore – probably because there’s too much demand for them!

Minder kept on wanting to know when the raffle would be drawn which we gave him a down down for his eagerness. He also said that he couldn’t hear me as it was too dark – I think he should’ve gone to Spec Savers (they do glasses as well as hearing aids!).

Tonight, we must’ve had a very competitive sporty bunch with Ma’ Dog having gone white water rafting got crutch rot – no competition here with No Crutch! Delilah was having a midnight swim (pissed) when he fell down the stairs and hurt his knee. So, if Delilah and Boobs got together, they would be OK for a 3 legged race or knocking knees?! Not to be outdone by these sportsmen, Digit Digester and Hairy Mickey both achieved their 100 runs award.

We had a new member that’s actually an old one – Breathless! He drew the ‘free’ raffle which Plucker Duck from Gold Coast won – a chocolate and beer tower complete with a pair of bunny ears. Weak As and Lusharse shared birthdays. Jokes were told by Beams (masturbating dinosaurs) and Weak As (not getting enough action on his birthday).

A very tasty nachos was expertly cooked by Weak As and many assistants – he even provided us with special containers so you didn’t have to even dirty your own plate! Many thanks to Weak As for the food, run and beer – what more could you ask for?!