A touch of déjà vu… Date: Monday 15/5/23 Location: Tewantin Hares: Screamer & Unremarkable It’s the sense or feeling of having previously experienced something that really has been encountered before. Here we are back in Tewantin, Griffith Ave, fire, Ma’ Dog – there’s some sort of weird connection going on. The moment we stepped out onto Griffith Ave, the runners and the walkers were already divided with the walkers going one way and the runners in the opposite direction. The runners did a massive 2.5km loop from Griffith Ave, Park View Ct, through the Heritage Park Bushland, Carramar St and Golf Course Dr. Fortunately, there were a number of runners: Nafa, Next Week, All Fours, Recharge, Lech, Beams, Miss Bossy Boots, Biggles and Lazy Prick as there many checks and on backs to contend with. From each check, the arrows were very sparsely marked for at least 500m apart until we counted 3 in a row to be on! With the runners having done their first loop, there was another loop joining onto the walkers trail along Golf Course Dr, Harry’s Short Cut, Homestead Dr, through Daintree Park and back along Golf Course Dr to home. We did manage to catch up with Slurps and Possum who led us back onto trail over the creek. There was a surprise drink stop of ginger beer along the way, manned by Unremarkable who was a little delayed in getting to the drink stop as he was trying to light the fire but had to pour some white spirits onto it and left it with Screamer in charge. If I remember correctly, back in Feb on Ma’ Dog & Screamer’s run he also gave up with the rice half cooking and left it with Screamer to deal with it. Upon arriving home, there was a fabulous fire to welcome us – so warm and toastie! Omo gave the walkers report – a very nice well marked run from virgin reporter to virgin hares while Beams gave the runners report. A most delightful run of 5.56km which took under an hour with the walkers and runners returning the same time. Here’s some charges for the week: Breathless tried to give ‘No Name Sue’ a name as he was showing us her bag packed full of everything – ready for all occasions. Perhaps some names along the lines of: Girl Guide, Boy Scout, Ready for Anything, Ready for Action, Mrs MacGyver? Recharge had a gash on his forehead – not one but a fresh one in the same place when he walked into his metal trailer – didn’t he learn the first time? Hashers absent for a while: Omo, Lazy Prick, Mad Dog and Floosie Hashers away at Darwin Nash Hash: Licker (during the Red Dress run, an indigenous woman in the streets watching fancied an old overweight hasher’s red dress that she started to give chase, Holy Smoke (gave a synopsis of a well organised event, with the next one in Fremantle), Mother Trucker and Slurps Red Knob who now proudly handles the Beer Meister duties, in his last haul of recycling cans and bottles from the hash p*ssheads was $400!  After trying the Lorry Boys beer, he thought was a bit ‘sissy’ and would rather drink VB – made for real men! Raffle was won by Dennis the Menace (yet to be officially named!) What a great night, great trail, great food (chili con carne to warm us on the insides), great fire and great company! I don’t know why Ma’ Dog was so worried for this virgin hare as Unremarkable had it all under control with Screamer in charge. Thanks for your hospitality! On On All Fours

Date: Monday 15/5/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Ma’ Dog, Delilah & Scrumpy

With Bundy and Boobs away on vacation, Ma’ Dog had a very cunning plan of cleverly disguising a ‘housewarming party’ with a hash run! Even with the past few days of torrential rain, it didn’t dampen his enthusiasm of throwing the party of the year!

There were only the ‘hardy’ party hashers that turned up, not the wimpy ones that were afraid of getting their hair or shoes wet. Even Miss Belinda Snogs who’s not a regular Noosa Hasher came along. About ten minutes before the start, Nafa armed with chalk went out to reset trail. The hashers waited patiently for another twenty minutes until there was a slight clearing in the rain. The majority stayed behind as the Hash Bar was declared OPEN while the seven hashers that went for a quick stroll with umbrellas were: Woof Woof, Top Down, Miss Bossy Boots, Ride On, All Fours, Screamer and Unremarkable. A 2km around the block along Blackheath Dr, Furness Dr, St Andrews Dr, Linksland St and back home to Cambuca Ct. Sadly, trail that had been marked by Delilah and Ma’ Dog numerous times and remarked by Nafa was all washed out!

Returning from the walk, we could hear the stereo cranked up, blasting fab hits from the 70’s to the 80’s such as The Trammps – ‘Disco Inferno’, Talking Heads – ‘Burning Down the House’, Billy Joel – ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’, just to name a few. The housewarming party was just getting started, I hope the neighbours won’t complain too much…

Woof Woof gave the run report with a 10 out of 10 score! The stand in Song Meister was Next Week belting out a few down down songs for:

• Biggles – he hasn’t been at the hash for ages but has promised that he will coming fortnightly
• Nafa – reset trail but we all wondered when he would return (when he realised it was raining or when he ran out of chalk?)
• Delilah & Scrumpy – virgin hares but were under the expert guidance of an old hand, Ma’ Dog
• Woof Woof & DT – another lot of hashers off for 6 weeks holiday up North to Carpentaria, where no one is around (I guess they have to dispose the dead bodies somewhere right?!)
• Ma’ Dog – celebrated his 71st birthday. In true style he spared no expense and offered port all around (the $6 bottle variety!)

A huge thanks for Ma’ Dog, Delilah and Scrumpy for hosting an awesome party and serving such scrumptious curries – these hashers have been spoilt.

One of my favourite songs that I haven’t heard in a long while until tonight, was pumping from the dancefloor. I’m going to leave you with some lyrics from the second verse which I thought was quite apt:

‘Burning Down the House’ – song by Talking Heads in 1983

Hold tight
Wait ’til the party’s over
Hold tight
We’re in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way
Burning down the house

On On
All Fours

Date: Monday 8/5/23

Location: Peregian Beach

Hare: Long Prong

Just as we were recovering from Saturday’s Coronation Pub Crawl and the celebrations of the long drawn out Coronation Ceremony shown on TV, we already have an award. The award is the OBE (Order of the British Empire) where the King awards the honour. Well, in this instance it was the hare, Long Prong’s 80th birthday OBE (Over Bloody Eighty)!

The trail started at the Peregian Park where we were instructed by the hare that the trail would be marked in white, blue, pink and magenta chalk. The walkers went off one direction and the runners in another. A big loop for the runners led us back near the start which was kind of in an ‘8’shape (if you squint your eyes). We ferreted around the Peregian Beach Park forages in the scrub trying to find trail. Nafa and Weak As went off towards the beach and that was the last we saw of Nafa! Finally, Next Week and Lech found trail through a building site, across the road and up a pathway.

We saw Weak As again who managed to do the long loop back from Lorikeet Drive while Miss Bossy Boots lead Kaffir and Jungle Jim back home after failing to find trail at the check. Lech, Beams, Next Week and All Fours continued the trail until we saw an arrow marked with ‘H’ and another with ‘B’. We took the ‘H’ trail home but was hoping that the ‘B’ could have been bucket rather than beach!

Lech gave the run report which he thought the trail was a little confusing with colour blinding, every colour of the rainbow chalk, but it did keep us all together! Long Prong was ably assisted by Dennis the Menace, but we weren’t sure who used which colour to set the trail.

We had a visitor, Jungle Jim from Sydney Posh Hash who had ran with Noosa Hash a long time ago. He only remembered that there was a large crowd and afterwards going back to someone’s house to watch porn on a Betamax! Whistleblower gets first dibs for the next time someone has to sit on ice as she was sliding on her backside during her walk in the National Park, however she managed to get all the splinters out. Top Down took the charge for Miss Bossy Boots who went home early as she invited us home while on the run but told us not to tell her Mum! Nafa got charged for being very quiet which is unlike him, so Kaffir and Possum sung him a Silent Night made up hash song. Dennis the Menace (who doesn’t actually have a real hash name – mmmmmm) said that he enjoys reading the Hash Trash but his wife enjoys it more! Apparently, this is where she finds out what he gets up to (he’s not the Messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy!).

Long Prong was awarded his OBE down down by Licker who said that she wants to be just like him when she reaches that age. Much to everyone’s protest that they don’t want her to start growing a beard or an appendage! With cool temperatures of 14oC, supper was cooked by Mrs Long Prong – chili con carne with extra chilli flakes on the side to warm us up and even an 80th birthday cake! Thank you very much hares – Long Prong and Dennis the Menace and Mrs Long Prong for catering!

BTW: just to see if you’ve been paying attention or even bother to read this run report, the trail tonight ran along twelve streets that are named after birds (Rufous, Kingfisher, Pelican, Ibis, Grebe, Plover, Shearwater, Jacana, Lorikeet, Oriole, Greenshank and Jabiru).

On On,
All Fours

Date: Monday 1/5/23

Location: Sunshine Beach

Hares: Chanter & Clairvoyant

Here we are back at Ed Webb Park so soon, but don’t worry as it’s not what you think as promised by the hare! A sizeable group of hashers appeared this week as there was no rain, just a little cooler – after all we are approaching WINTER!

We all headed off parallel to the Coastal Track to the Noosa National Park which soon separated the walkers and runners. There was the stairway to heaven as we went up the Seaview Terrace climb, along Sunshine to Abay and then the Nudie Escape – the Alexander Bay Track. Weak As lead the way but when we approached the bifurcation on Alexander Bay Track we didn’t see any arrows, so he told Next Week and All Fours to take the left fork. No wonder Chanter came along for the run, obviously not trusting the runners for taking shortcuts, hence only Nafa and he did the real full trail.

Fortunately, the runners found flour blobs again as we saw Lech and Licker, the fast walkers join the trail. It was starting to get dark but near the end of the National Park was Clairvoyant with a ‘lemonade’ drink stop. We were soon back onto the streets and downhill on Belmore Terrace heading home!

The runners trail was 5.74km with an elevation gain of 178m. The run report by given by Ride On who was a little traumatised by so many arrows and gave a brown noser score of 9.999 for such a well marked trail. This was somewhat different to a fortnight ago when Ride On’s trail was washed out by rain, however Blameless said he saw an old arrow from his run (I think Blameless should’ve gone to Spec Savers!).

Digit Digester bought along a virgin – Daryl. She insisted he was too slow and then went too fast only to lead him in the wrong direction! A few hashers who have been absent for a while were Treadie (a lot of hashing in NZ), Shazza (just because, no excuse), Dun Rootin’ (been away but did win the Iron Woman!). Reverse Thrust was not only late but was wasting good cold beer by pouring it down All Fours’ leg – not quite the same as a warm wet feeling down the leg! Blameless was having a good old whinge about starting much earlier as it getting too cold and  for all those wimpy hashers. We soon shut him up when he won the raffle but that didn’t stop everyone from knicking his chocolate bars! Possum sung at least 2 songs with ‘arseholes’ – she must know that there are a lot of arseholes in the hash!

Thanks for scenic tour in Sunshine Beach – Chanter and Clairvoyant! On on to another beach next week…

On On,
All Fours