Date: Monday 18/12/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Hoarder & Tailend

A great way to finish 2023 was to have a trail set by Tailend and Hoarder which was to get on board the free bus and head off towards Sunshine Beach. It was kind of DIY’ish where you could choose your own distance.

Once the Hashers were on board, they almost filled the bus leaving behind a few stragglers waving us off. We were only about 1.3km down the road when the bell rang for the first stop – ooohhh it was Snot who was the only one that got off. A few hopped off at the Yachtie to hydrate from the heat and ‘pretended’ to do some vigorous exercise and walk back to the bucket – it wasn’t Slurps, Mother Trucker, Ma’ Dog was it? The last stop was Noosa Parade at Quamby Place where the diehards: Beams, Next Week, Nafa, Say No More, All Fours, Kaffir and two athletic walkers: Mozzie and Treadie got off. As we were crossing the bridge there were a few crazy people about to jump off the bridge which I hope was deep enough for diving – we didn’t stick around to find out! It was a very pleasant 5km jog mostly along the river where we weaved our way around people back to the bucket at the Tewantin RSL Park.

Mozzie gave the run report having forgotten to press the bell on the bus any earlier with Treadie but did the runners distance of 5km from the Quamby Stop. It was a lovely, scenic run, great idea with the bus trip as there were so many young people curious about these oldies on the bus that were chatting away animatedly like school kids. A few Milestone Awards were given to Slurps & Bundy (550 Runs) and Ride On (1450 Runs). Red Knob drew Licorice Nipples to win the Hamper basket prize but she declined it and had a redraw, which Long Prong won. The other Christmas chocolate stocking prize went to Lusharse.

The Down Downs were given to:

• Visitors: Insex & Snot (Mackay), Nathan (Licker’s son)
• Snot – 1st person to press the bell after 2nd bus stop not far up the road
• Slurps & Dun Rootin’ – the ‘Shake Ladies’ pretending to be the Chrissy who lost 29kgs for drinking shakes were posing at the bus stop next to the advertisement (see photo)
• Beams & Got Off – being the conscious healthy people, Got Off was using the Qantas Wellbeing App to track the number of steps. Apparently you can get Qantas points by walking and even sleeping, but Beams is already one step ahead of you as he’s been using this App for ages…
• Say No More – wondering if she really is blonde as she didn’t know where the run was tonight despite supposedly looking on the website and Facebook…
• Floosie – for not choosing Possum to sing a down down song
• All Fours – the RA’s Anti Rain App is working too well that the F’in GM wants rain to cool her down.

Thanks to our hares Hoarder and Tailend for the great trail and supper! Again, a massive thanks to these two for consistently assisting bucket duties each week – and they’re not even on the committee!

WOW, what a year this has been and finally the Noosa Hash Committee get two weeks holiday. We managed to score first class tickets on a cruise to the Bahamas with all the hash funds and as a thanks to all our members we’ll send you a postcard…

On On until NEXT YEAR – YAYYYYYY!!!

All Fours

P.S. The Noosa Hash Committee office will be closed for two weeks. Any complaints – TELL SOMEONE WHO CARES!!!

Date: Monday 11/12/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Noosa H3 Committee Elves & Reindeers

Fa la la la la la la la!  Did you know that there’s 82 ‘las’ after the fa in Deck the Halls? Well, now you know some useless trivia!

What a jolly bunch of hashers that gathered at Santa’s Thai Palace for the Christmas run, all decked out in their Christmas garb! Kaffir set the Yuletide trail very early in the morning to ensure he wouldn’t be seen laying trail and grafittiing the pavement around town. It was rather hilarious to see a bunch of Christmas goers dressed as Elves, Santas, tinsel wearers wandering around the streets of Tewantin, whereas the public must’ve thought the Tewantin Aged Care facility had escapees… Most followed along like sheep ignoring checks and taking shortcuts to the first drink stop which was at Kaffir’s on Hay Street. We were greeted with jelly shots and strong G&Ts. After a short interlude, we were off 750m down the road to the second drink stop. What a delight that was at GB & Recharge’s where prawns, prosecco and limoncello spritz were had! The hashers had another kilometre to walk off the excesses before they arrived at All Fours & Next Week’s for the third drink stop which consisted of port, chocolate fingers and homemade Christmas cookies (for those who asked, see recipe in the Tidbits section of the Hash Trash). After all was drunk and cookies eaten, it was only another 450m stagger back home.

There were heaps of raffle prizes drawn, but the major hamper prize went to Popeye who was very keen to put it in a safe place away from any potential thieving hashers – like who on earth would pinch an Ikea fork? A couple of Milestone Awards were given to Lusharse (1300 Runs) and Haybales (1000 Runs). Sukkon, Weak As and Reverse Thrust gave an eulogy to ‘King’ Cone who has gone ON ON’ing to the Hash Heavens.

The Down Downs were given to:

• Licker – for being absent at a recent social function. When we phoned her, she said she was rather busy as she was about to ‘come in her PJs!’
• Kaffir – bought a brand new ute that has awesome towing capacity of 3,500kg but refused to tow Breathless’ small trailer as he didn’t want to scratch it (the ute – not the trailer!)
• Nafa – for being gullible, taking directions from Kaffir only to end up at Breathless’ house and taking Mozzie along on the false trail. He got the ice treatment on other several charges that Kaffir bestowed upon him.
• At this stage, the circle was being over run by others that I don’t seem to remember what happened next – it was a blur, but fortunately not the photos…

While we waited for the Christmas feast to be served, Possum led the Christmas Hash Carollers (Reverse Thrust, Floosie, Kaffir) to entertain the rowdy crowd. OMG what a fantastic spread of Roast Chicken, Turkey, Pork, Ham and salads galore that was prepared for the hungry mob who easily managed to demolish! But wait, there’s more… Christmas Pudding with brandy butter and ice cream to finish a fabulous, festive feast!

A massive THANKS goes to Mr and Mrs Santa Claus – Reverse Thrust and BedSpringer for hosting the event at their humble Thai Palace. Thanks to the drinks stop hosts – Kaffir, GB, Recharge, All Fours and Next Week. The final thanks goes to all the wonderful Elves Chefs that prepared the AMAZING feast – Possum, Licorice Nipples, Licker, Carrie, Be Prepared, Got Off, Hoarder, Floosie, Screamer, Dun Rootin’ and All Fours. I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone but this wouldn’t have been such a success if it wasn’t for YOU participating!

On On to the very TAILEND of the year– it’s the last run for 2023 which will be set by Tailend and Hoarder.

All Fours

Date: Monday 4/12/23
Location: Amamoor
Hares: Gympie Hash

An excellent roll up for the joint Christmas run with Sunshine Coast, Noosa & Hinterland. There were 64 hashers who took to the paddocks, squeezed through at least 2 holes in barbed wire fences, dodged an excited roof gorilla with a spray gun, traversed farms and roads around Amamoor for a fun evening of running, walking, chatting, laughter, drinks and nosh. Santa made a guest appearance alongside his aspiring busty assistant May Day modelling the latest push up bra. It was great to see approx. 29 runners and heaps of younger people – as Kaffir said, start bringing your grandchildren to Noosa H3!

The runners trail was only 5.12km but there was a 158m elevation gain and Strava was cheeky enough to congratulate me on running my fastest mile (when we were going downhill). Passing through the paddocks, we fortunately didn’t have any charging bulls but only a few avocado trees left as farmer Derek had ploughed them up. We met the walkers halfway up the hill for the drink stop at farmer Derek’s shed. The runners went cross country and continued up the hill, only to come back down the other side. As it was getting dark, we were fortunate enough to have young Chicken Little wear flashing red and green trainers guide us home as Rudolph was indisposed.

Dolly (Gympie GM) ran the circle with a few charges, namely dobbed her sister, Nozzle and May Day for getting speeding fines. There was a call out to all the GMs present for a down down: Dolly (Gympie), Haybales (Hinterland), Wonky (Maroochy Moonlighters), Licker (Noosa), Kaffir (Larrikins). There were a couple of jokes told – one about Jesus and the other about a penguin.

We all then queued up to order our freshly made burgers. Despite a wee wait for the food, the burgers was absolutely DELICIOUS! A huge thank you to the volunteers of Friends of Amamoor for manning their amazing bar for us, Tracey and Russell and crew for the top nosh burgers from the Village Green Cafe.

Thanks to our wonderful hosts Gympie H3 – a FABULOUS jaunty to Amamoor!

On On to our Yuletide festivities…
All Fours

Date: Monday 27/11/23
Location: Noosaville
Hare: Biggles

Even with a light sprinkling of rain, it didn’t deter the hashers who came along to support Biggles (not a virgin, not a pilot for Virgin Airlines but a virgin hare for Noosa). Quite a few hashers asked me who this Biggles was and if he was new – well, now you know!

Starting from the Tewantin Noosa Lions Park, next to the Yachtie Club we encountered our first check. Whistleblower was striding off to the left in search of trail withTriar F closely behind while most went right and over the walk bridge. We followed along the Noosa Waters and headed over to the newer Noosa Waters housing estate, namely past the hare’s house on Ely Street. There were plenty of checks, false trails/on backs to keep us together and a walkers and runners split. We cut through the Good Shepherd school carpark, skirted along the Walter Hay Dr to loop back into Noosa Waters estate only to go come back out at the other end to Saltwater Ave. By this time, those who knew the area had ample chances to cut back on any of the streets back to Gympie Terrace. Those who stuck on the trail reached James Street before getting onto the home straight along the Noosa River and it was still another kilometre to get back. It was just getting dark but we could see the lovely red and white baubles lit, hanging on the trees next to the sheltered BBQ area. All in all, it was rather a delightful run of 7.27km recorded on Strava!

The run report was given by Weak As – it would have been good but thought there were too limited choices of where to run along Gympie Terrace and he thought the hare(s) decided to stop marking trail, so he scored it 1/10 and called it ‘SH*T’. I didn’t think that sounded fair, so I asked for a second option with Mozzie giving a walkers perspective. She thought it was wonderful, no real rain, scenic enough stroll through Noosa Waters and along the river and she scored it 8/10!

Down downs were:

• Triar F – Hashit Award for 2 reasons: at the very first check he decided to continue walking even though he knew it was an On Back and insisted we follow; raided his piggy bank & gave Hash Cash a dozen pieces of silver for a drink!
• Afterbirth- visitor from Sydney Larrikins who gave us the story on how he got named as soon as his wife gave birth…
• Weak As – a double charge for his shenanigans @ the Mekong Hash. He was thrown in jail for upsetting the locals by wearing the flag as his sarong and flashing the ‘star’, also he carried opened alcohol through customs (naughty boy!)
• Digit Digester, Treadie, Weak As – returnees hash tragics from the Mekong Hash
• Elite Athletes: Miss Belinda Snogs & Ma’ Dog – Snogs walked really fast on the runners trail after explaining what her training diet was today (banana cake with lashings of whipped cream & choc mint slice), Ma’ Dog was training so hard he pulled his groin muscle (or was it a pain in the arse?)
• More Athletes: Nafa – not wearing a shirt to show off his body when people in the park thought it was a pregnant woman running. Afterbirth – rolled up his shirt showing off his mid drift (six pack or was it a keg?)
• Insultan – another naughty boy, nicked the Coffs Harbour H3 banner and wanted everyone to deface it with permanent markers. He tried to blame someone else for taking it (a tall person?!)

It was then, pizzas, garlic bread and accompaniments of a selection of salads was served – we were suitably impressed! Thanks to our hare Biggles who wasn’t flying solo but had a co-pilot Nafa who set a fabulous run! On On to Amamoor next week as we head into our crazy season of festivities…

On On
All Fours