Run #2237 – Monday 3 April 2023
Hare: Weak As
Location: Noosaville

Birthday Boy’s Bush Bashing…

Our birthday boy and hare Weak As, started the run at the Eenie Creek Road just behind the Salvos store in Noosaville. The trail lead us through the industrial sites around Rene, Action and Production Streets. Finally, we came across some virgin territory off Hoffman Drive, near the Noosa Civic and reached the drink stop. The drink stop was ably assisted by ‘a pair of good knees’ between them aka Boobs and Delilah.

The runners trail went from new roads/development area into the bush. Beams was convinced that we were heading towards the Noosa Aerodrome, whereas Nafa did his usual and went off and did some alternate route. It was getting dark in the bush but luckily most of us had torches. Weak As, cleverly lead the runners back to the Hoffman Drive new roads near the drink stop, crossing the road to loop back into the Noosa Civic shopping centre towards home. A great 5.95km trail for the runners and a 4km (ish) for the walkers. Top Down, Woof Woof and Whistleblower were all fast walkers but didn’t complain it was too short!  Even Unremarkable and Screamer thought it was a very pleasant jaunty stroll for those who are over 70 years old! While we’re on the topic of seniors, Screamer said they don’t do carparking spaces for seniors anymore – probably because there’s too much demand for them!

Minder kept on wanting to know when the raffle would be drawn which we gave him a down down for his eagerness. He also said that he couldn’t hear me as it was too dark – I think he should’ve gone to Spec Savers (they do glasses as well as hearing aids!).

Tonight, we must’ve had a very competitive sporty bunch with Ma’ Dog having gone white water rafting got crutch rot – no competition here with No Crutch! Delilah was having a midnight swim (pissed) when he fell down the stairs and hurt his knee. So, if Delilah and Boobs got together, they would be OK for a 3 legged race or knocking knees?! Not to be outdone by these sportsmen, Digit Digester and Hairy Mickey both achieved their 100 runs award.

We had a new member that’s actually an old one – Breathless! He drew the ‘free’ raffle which Plucker Duck from Gold Coast won – a chocolate and beer tower complete with a pair of bunny ears. Weak As and Lusharse shared birthdays. Jokes were told by Beams (masturbating dinosaurs) and Weak As (not getting enough action on his birthday).

A very tasty nachos was expertly cooked by Weak As and many assistants – he even provided us with special containers so you didn’t have to even dirty your own plate! Many thanks to Weak As for the food, run and beer – what more could you ask for?!

Run #2236 – Monday 27 March 2023
Hare: Maneater
Location: Sunrise Beach

The mozzies started way before the run at 4pm when Mozzie rang Next Week to ask for the location of the run was and if Rainbow Park was a new park in Sunrise Beach. Her excuse was that she didn’t have Google Maps on her phone and needed a hard copy version of the Refidex Street Directory.

What a fabulous trail it was from Rainbow Park, over the footbridge to Wavecrest Park and along Castaways Beach and up Sunrise Hill. Miss Bossy Boots was the front runner all the way with Beams following very closely on her heels. Kaffir, Lunatic, Beams, Good Things (no Groper as he’s got man flu), All Fours, Next Week and Lech were also out in front with the runners pack. Near the beach, I was surprised to see Unremarkable and Screamer on the trail ahead of me. I looked across the road and saw Slurps and Mother Trucker coming down the wooden steps which I flagged for them to short cut across the road. When I asked Unremarkable if the trail was set down the steps, he said “that was the trail set for people over 70 years old!” Mad Dog and Floosie were walking their pooches when one decided she had enough and sat down – apparently she’d already done the same walk earlier on the day.

The down downs was some weird concoction with healthy bits of carrots for the hashers to see better as the days are getting shorter and darker earlier. Flip Flop (Fat Controller’s brother) from Switzerland, got a special European down down beer from Weak As. Beams and Blameless could easily pass as brothers with wearing white hats and comparing lengths of beards. Apparently Blameless was hirsute when he was younger! Boobs was showing off his long battle scar around his knee and is not allowed to drive but can sit and drink instead.

Lunatic comes every fortnightly dressed in a very colour coordinated matchy, matchy fashion. Her excuse is that she has thrown out all her old hash gear – Bundy get selling! Licker had all her chains and whips returned to her from some wild night shenanigans. Thanks to Ma’ Dog as he gets a free drink for writing last week’s fab run report – you too can claim your next free drink but simply scribbling a few words together!

As we feasted on our dinner prepared by Maneater, so were the Mozzies feasting on the hashers! I did a roll call and countered at least 83 bites!

No Crutch, Licker, Red Knob and All Fours were playing on the children’s playground and slides – fortunately it was dark and no children were harmed at the time…

Thanks to the hare(s) – Maneater and Sukkon for a very scenic jaunty at the seaside!

Lecherous’ trecherous trails…

Run #2235 – Monday 20 March 2023
Hare: Lech
Location: Beckmans Road, Tewantin

We turned up for run #2235 but as no one told our GM, she had no idea what number it was! ????  There was an air of anticipation tonight, as it was a ‘bush’ run, some were worried they might get their zimmerframes caught in tree roots or worse – dirty shoes! There was good turnout of 30’ish, with many away for the Port Macquarie relay. Even our one legged kiwi, Boobs made a cameo appearance to cheer us on. With no visitors or pre-remarks, our hare Lecherous gave a quick brief on what to expect. He’d gone to great lengths to set a long run, a normal run, a long walk and a short walk – if that’s not over achieving then I don’t know what is! His plan was slightly thwarted, when he said “I’ve clearly marked the directions for the start”, only to be undone by the inconsiderate Haybales who parked his 4WD on top of the signage.

So off we set in many directions before Lech frustratingly yelled out which actual way we were meant to go. If this was just the beginning, then we were in for a treat – NOT! We headed down a 4WD track and over a stile, which Screamer thought was the Great Wall of China by the way she traversed it. The pack soon spread out for a decent ascent up the fire trail. The runners were a bit thin on the ground with ‘hammy’ Nafa and Groper heading off in search of trail. When we reached a ridge the trail crossed over but everyone stood there umin’ and arin’ and not willing to commit in either direction. Minder and Lusharse disappeared into the bush and were never seen again – cunning old hashers! Ma’ Dog pointed out that the walkers trail was on the left and that no one was to follow him, since he was short cutting home with Dun Rootin’ and Kondom in tow. What the unsuspecting hashers didn’t realise was that he was actually on trail and was sending them on a long walk. A piece of advice: Never ask a hasher if they are on trail, as they have been known to lie! ????.

The short walk, was a well marked amble down Trail #4 behind the council depot and back to the chariots. On return, small groups came in from all directions, some with tales of woe – more like BS, the short cutting bastards! Poor Lech was somewhat baffled as to how could they have got it so wrong, since it was clearly and painstakingly marked that even a novice hasher could find their way! If you make it too simple and obvious, hashers will always f*ck it up – its in their DNA. It was dark when the two elated runners returned. We were not worried that Groper would get lost as he had Nafa to guide him. They did most of the run in ‘Reverse’ (even though he wasn’t here tonight) going against the arrows and at several intersections there were arrows in all directions – the walkers got off lightly! In hindsight, I can honestly say that the run was great as it kept us together, was clearly if not confusingly marked but a great effort by the hare!

The circle was brief but entertaining with no visitors, new cummers or messages. Nafa had a birthday but still hasn’t grown up. Recharge got a big thanks for his contribution as stand in Hash Cash. There was one charge for the hi-tech group who got lost but Insultan managed to use his superior knowledge and SatNav to get home safely. What’s the hash coming to when we have to rely on technology and not pure hashing skills to navigate the trail home. If no one gets lost, then where’s the fun in that?! No one knew where the next week’s run was, not even the committee members that were present. It’s going to be a fun year with them in charge! ????

The food tonight was an Irish stew (wasn’t that meant to be last week?!) – thick or thin but expertly prepared by Lech which was very yummy well done! 

On On
Ma’ Dog

Triar Fruck is Dun Rootin’ Irish Jigs… Run #2234 – Monday 13 March 2023 Hares: Triar F & Dun Rootin’ Location: Gympie Terrace Top of the morning to you! To be sure to be sure, ‘twas an abundance of 42 leprechauns or hashers dressed in green tutus, hair, shirts, hats, socks and looking very green with envy! Despite the forecast for a downpour, they all came out in droves! It was good to see an extra runner, Lunatic join the very small elite bunch of runners. The trail took us along the Hilton Esplande and passing Turtle’s house that she popped in to get a few things. Perhaps it was to return some books as we passed the Library and through Wallace Park. There were a few on backs, checks and runners and walkers split to ensure the pack kept together. Possum described the mad traffic jam rush of mopeds on the road as Triar F was seen everywhere ensuring we didn’t short cut or miss any trail. Well, Next Week and All Fours missed one particular runners/walkers split, as they followed the sea of green shirts walking along the reserve. They were called back by Groper and Beams only to find it was an on back, back onto the walkers trail! We then skirted through Noosa Waters housing estate to take us back to Gympie Terrace to home! Groper gave a very concise run report – a very pleasant 5.57km little jaunty around Noosa! Down downs were some green slimy concoction for the returnees: Possum, Insultan (swanning around the countryside doing what retirees do), Mozzie, Haybales (honeymooned in Fiji) and Whistleblower (also holidaying). There were a couple of visitors: Off and On and Lunatic and one virgin: Dee. Possum in true form was trying to teach hashers new songs but it was like talking to a brick wall – perhaps just bang your head against the wall? Kerfuffle won the Grog Raffle yet again – a bottle of red and a gluten free banana loaf. Again, the beer was redrawn and was won by Dee who declined it and was again redrawn for Screamer who gave the beer to Unremarkable. The free drink prize in the Hash Trash competition was won by Holy Smoke when she recited the secret code: “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts”. Dee, our virgin who made herself come, helped out with cleaning up – a true hasher which we seriously need to get this one on board now! Thanks to our hares – a fabulous Irish chili con caine was cooked by Dun Rootin’ and trail set by moped Triar F.

ANNOUNCEMENTS *** Buckets It is now the Hares responsibility to ensure they get the bucket to their run. If they cannot, then please arrange for someone to pick up the buckets from the Chief Beer Meister’s home (Weak As – 84 Butler Street, Tewantin) or speak to one of the committee members to assist in organising. Hares only need to bring buckets and return to them to Weak As’ home, they do not have to purchase the drinks, stock the fridge, throw out the empties or sell the drinks at the run. Thank you in advance for your cooperation! Two hard working Irish lads…  Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. They worked up along one street and then down the other. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. One lad digging the holes. The other lad filling them in. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were at. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, ‘I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?’ The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, ‘Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. You see, we’re normally a three-man team. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.” Border H4 XXX-IV Years of Hashing Weekend 26-28 May 2023, Murwillumbah Showgrounds Hurry, hurry – there’s a limit for 60-70 people max at the venue! Flyer coming soon… Tshirts: YFront is taking orders for tshirts, but need to know ASAP. Contact: 0408 016 226 or email: ypooj@qldhhh.com.au

You just can’t Hoarder everything until the Tailend of the run…

Run #2233 – Monday 6 March 2023
Hares: Hoarder & Tailend
Location: Noosa District Sports Complex, Tewantin

When All Fours arrived at the start of the run, she was bombarded by the Hare with instructions of the trail. There was something about going to Noosa Banks, a blue sign and a drink stop – what more info do you need? It was soon clear that she hadn’t remembered the crucial bits…

But wait, there’s more (instructions)! The trail markings officially started approximately 500m away by the netball courts. The front runners were ferreting for ages before they found trail onto McKinnon Drive. Nafa as usual, had gone off in the distance leaving Beams, Next Week, All Fours, Lech and a very sprightly Bedspringer following.

Finally, we found the oasis (drink stop) nestled between the houses in the bushy reserve. I think Hoarder was disappointed that All Fours had forgotten that she was meant to mark the trail going into the bush first, then the drink stop. Not to disappoint, the runners still did the bush loop back when they encountered Tailend leading the fast walkers coming in the opposite direction. And soon it was back along the LONG McKinnon Drive home – a hot and steamy 7km run!

The circle had commenced before our visitor, Toucan finally arrived home to a refreshing beer. Scandal had gone on her bike in search of Toucan who was found wandering around the sports complex disorientated and dazzled by all the flood lighting. Scandal had told him to remember the Funeral Parlour for directions home – not sure whether there was a hidden meaning behind that!

Kondom gave a very concise run report. Lech charged All Fours for marking too many arrows going in too many directions – her response was, “It depends on which way you’re facing!”. Reverse and Bedspringer were returnees – Reverse is currently taking it easy having had a penis reduction. Speaking of operations, Boobs is about to go for his 6 million dollar man knee surgery – watch out everyone he’ll be chasing you!

Ma’ Dog told an early St Patrick’s Day Irish joke while Nafa got half way with a joke when he lost the plot and chucked his drink. The Grog Raffle was won by Mother Trucker, which must’ve been rigged as Holy Smoke had said it was a nice drop of Chardy this week!

Many thanks to Hoarder and Tailend for stepping in to be hares this week and cooking a delicious beef stew.

A very Unremarkable Ma’ Dog Screamer of a run…

Run #2232 – Monday 27 Feb 2023
Hares: Screamer & Ma’ Dog
Location: Tewantin

A great turnout of hashers descended upon 117 Griffith Ave, Tewantin homestead of Screamer and Ma’ Dog. Out the front of the house was a For Sale sign, but still it didn’t deter the hashers from coming…

We ferreted around the streets at the start of the run but we soon headed down Billabong Way through to the bushy parklands and the golf course. We entered the Heritage Park Bushland Reserve more than once which made us think that we had gone back on ourselves. Gropa didn’t find trail the first time as the toilet paper had fallen off the tree which he prompted put back as we think it might have been used…

The pack managed to keep together for most of the way with Ma’ Dog occasionally gesturing to the slower hashers to take the other direction at the checks. Kondom and Woof Woof were leading the walkers striding out in front and still managing to keep lots of conversation going. Lech was in fine form pounding the pavement like a true FRB – he said that he hasn’t felt so good in ages (I’ll have some of that some of that secret potion too!).

Soon, we stumbled upon an Unremarkable Drink Stop! He mentioned that he wasn’t very good at doing ‘hash stuff’ but somehow managed the drinks. He did leave the rice cooking on the stove and walked away for Screamer to fortunately find that it wasn’t burnt!

Good Things was busy on the phone and eyeing up potential real estate that was on sale in the area. The trail did go past the Carramar Aged Care however, I don’t think she was interested in living there just yet!

Griffith Ave must seem like a long road as we must have crossed or gone along it several times and then the home trail did indeed take us back onto Griffith Ave! An excellent 5.53km run that was under the hour too!

This was the first official circle that the newly appointed GM had graced us with her presence as Licker literally got the shits last week! Ma’ Dog’s summary was that the GM and the RA/On Sec, enthralled the mob with their fuckups and indecisions and is so glad that nothing has changed since the last committee! (does that sound like a nomination for the next committee?!!).

Beams was charged with impostoring Kel from Kath & Kim as he’s certainly got those power walking moves! Even the GM doesn’t escape charges as she decided to leave all her vibrating bits (sex toys) behind at last weekend’s shenanigans! Weak As deserves some award for yet another injury when the pavement jumped out on him to cause him to lose bark on his arms and legs.

The Grog Raffle was won by Kerfuffle who took the wine and pumpkin but turned down the beer. The beer was redrawn with Lech winning the six pack.

Another great evening with thanks to Screamer and Ma’ Dog for their hospitality and a fab run!

Longis Prongis strikes again…

Run #2231 – Monday 20 Feb 2023
Hares: Mozzie & Haybales
Location: Cooroy

Rain had finally arrived to the Sunshine Coast. However, there was still a great turnout in Cooroy. Haybales sent us off on a different path through a creek which fortunately had not filled up. In fact you had to be pretty daft to get your feet wet! Could have been fun in a few weeks time…

We ventured out the back of the sports grounds and off towards Trail 8 leading to Pomona. We cut off to the left before Trail 8 and headed off through the winding estate paths in an anticlockwise direction and back to town.

One of the few checks was marked off to a cul-de-sac with no escape. Nafa was accused but then we realised he wasn’t on the run and only partly blamed him. Kaffir headed off to the right as he knew that led back to town. We were then called back by Possum and Ride On claiming that we were on the wrong trail. Blindly we followed Ride On who ‘knew the way’  – no trail of course! Finally, we reached town but instead of taking the direct route back to the bucket, Possum insisted we follow her. So, off we went again. That little detour took some time – just enough time in fact for the heavens to open which turned a dry run into a damp one.

Weak As ran the circle as the newly appointed GM had a dose of the runs and the RA had other issues (don’t we all?). This was duly noted as a great start to the year – only up from here as they say…

The usual down downs were held with loud tunes from Possum – the odd bit in tune.

Most notably, Weak As finally called for charges from the run and Long Prong stepped up to declare that he had been accosted by a mad man (meaning quite cross rather than a looney), demanding to know if Long Prong was one of the old men chasing his son. Quite shocked, Long Prong advised that he wasn’t but perhaps it was one of the runners such as Weak As. It turned out we think that the boy was late back and was looking for an excuse (take your pick of hashers!).

A very pleasant hash trail – thanks to Haybales and Mozzie.

Run # 2229 06.02.2023

Hares: Insultan & Possum

Venue: Picnic Shelters (pondoks) nearest Yacht Club, Gympie Tce, Noosaville

Map Ref: https://www.google.com.au/maps/place/Covered+picnic+tables+%26+free+barbeques/@-26.3977823,153.0555535,172m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m12!1m6!3m5!1s0x6b9368e41a9d3f91:0x6aebe2c56f4de3d0!2sNoosa+Yacht+and+Rowing+Club!8m2!3d-26.3976396!4d153.0552283!3m4!1s0x6b93696d21829cf5:0xfbe06e891de37619!8m2!3d-26.3978275!4d153.0558506

Start: 5.30pm

Run # 2228 30.01.2023

Hares: Blameless & Slurps

Venue:RSL Memorial Pk, Poinciana & Dyan, Tewantin

Map Ref: https://www.google.com.au/maps/place/Rsl+Memorial+Park,+Tewantin+QLD+4565/@-26.392134,153.0382276,687m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m5!3m4!1s0x6b9368ed6c847455:0x181cd06aa7cf5c55!8m2!3d-26.3913948!4d153.0400537

Start: 5.30pm