Date/Time: Monday 22/1/24, 5pm
Location: Noosaville
Hares: Lazy Prick & Hairy Mickey

It was a hot and steamy day, even at 5pm at the start of the run. As promised, the RA’s Anti-Rain app worked a dream and there was no rain whatsoever. Lazy Prick had planned a route that would be entertaining (obviously too much time on his hands!) with chalk scribbling messages along the way such as ‘All Fours Rest’ and ‘Nafa’s Tryst’ and a drink stop to rehydrate.

The trail took us over the Monks Bridge, through the Weyba Creek Busland Reserve, running parallel to the Noosa Springs Drive and past the Noosa Men’s Shed. We thought we should be heading back the other direction once we were climbing towards Noosa Heads. Fortunately, we turned towards Leslie Drive, along near Weyba Road to the Noosa Farmers Market where we cut through the Rococo Oval and – yay we were on our way home! It was only a mere 6.14km run but the humidity makes it much more challenging. Meanwhile, Licker was seen cooling herself down under the tap which was only a metre off the ground but she was up for a wet tshirt competition.

The walkers report was given by Biggles – man of a few words and all he managed was “it was OK”. Beams gave us a more comprehensive run report – full of twists & turns, heaps of checks, kept pack together, right distance, great territory, enough shiggy/bush/trails bits to make it interesting and a welcoming drink stop before we fainted in the heat. The map of the trail looks remarkably like a mushroom, what do you think of the pictures below?

The Down Downs were given to:

• Visitors: Jenny (Screamer’s younger sister)
• Returnees: Wheelie Bin (Laguna resident), No Crutch
• Be Prepared & Ride On – chatting along on the run when Be Prepared said “I can’t tell the difference between males &females” – apparently talking about the sex of a cane toad!
• Wheelie Bin & Treadie – comparing their pacemakers which they have given names to (Wheelie’s called Bin Larden or Little Otto?, Treadie’s called Gerry)
• Wetcheck & Kondom – after the run last week on her birthday they finally got home @ 9:45pm. While waiting for the tow truck to fill in time they were shagging in the back seat! (awww how SWEET!)
• Wheelie Bin & Blameless – Wheelie has hosted events at his previous property where the only directions to go left or right, but Blameless when straight ahead & landed in the water or ditch?
• Hoarder – wished her a Hashy Birthday  
• Hashit Award – Beams for pushing all the slower athletes out of his way as he was going so fast he just couldn’t stop
• Reverse Thrust – he saw ducks lining the water, but he had his mind in the gutter telling Licker he had all his F**ks lined in a row
• Lazy Prick – doubter that the RA’s Anti Rain App wouldn’t be working, today was a beautiful day, may be a tad hot but no rain on the trail, until we got home in the evening @ 9pm

Then we were off to the Laguna Retirement Village, guided by Digit Digester standing guard at the entrance and ensuring the hashers wouldn’t deviate. Next Week was the only one who went for a dip in the very inviting pool while the hasher sat around drinking. Supper was then served at The Forum by Hairy Mickey with the assistance of Dolly (another Laguna resident).

Many thanks to the hares – Lazy Prick and Hairy Mickey! It was hot and steamy but we survived the weather and were glad we didn’t get fed those special kind of mushrooms for dinner!

On On
All Fours

Date/Time: Monday 15/1/24, 5pm
Location: Peregian Springs
Hares: Beams

It was great to return to a run location where we haven’t been for a while and we know that the locals were definitely expecting us – the MOZZIES! Whilst Mozzie wasn’t physically there, she didn’t disappoint us with her large extended family out in force to feast upon the Hashers! I think the Duck Pond may need to be renamed to the Peregian Mozzie Pond…

The trail skirted in and out around the Peregian Springs housing estate with lots of checks, on backs, twists and turns that we felt we double backed on ourselves for most of the time. Many of the cul-de-sacs had paths that led onto different streets and took us around the Peregian Springs Golf course. The entire pack of 8 runners keep together and hot on their heels was an athlete in disguise of a walker – Top Down. She even admitted that she did a half decent time at the Park Run last weekend! Having said that, the remaining walkers didn’t do too badly either having returned to the bucket within the hour.

The run/fast walker report was given by Top Down – a very delightful 5km jaunty essentially around the Peregian Springs Golf Club which we managed to dodge some soggy grassy bits. There was no need for separate reports seeing Top Down was definitely an overachiever for the walkers but kept up with the runners. The FGM spruiked the ‘Not the Australia Day’ weekend away in Imbil which is only 2.5 weeks away. The following week is the AGPU where we have received 3 nominations for the next GMship. We are also encouraging/open for those who wish to be on the committee but not wanting to the GM role.

The Down Downs were given to:

• Visitors: Bleeding Down Below (Belgium Hash) and cousin, Just Sam (England) visiting her Father on the Sunshine Coast
• Lazy Prick – is next week’s hare but was being very doubtful of the RA’s Anti Rain App ability and is already preparing for his run to be a wash out like last time
• Wetcheck – birthday girl exactly today!
• Reverse Thrust got the Hashit Award for extracurricular activities on the run involving undoing zippers with teeth

Thanks for the trail and supper, all expertly done single handed by our hare Beams! We cleared and packed up the picnic area, leaving one poor gluten free sausage. Unfortunately, it wasn’t only the sausage left, it was poor Kondom and Wetcheck who had car troubles. They finally got towed and was home at 9:45pm. It wasn’t exactly the birthday that Wetcheck had wished for!

On On
All Fours

Date/Time: Monday 8/1/24, 5pm
Location: Yandina
Hares: Wetcheck & Kondom

Welcome to 2024! What a start to the new year, with a run in Yandina. There were even hashers who have never ventured there before for a run.

The trail took us around the Yandina Sporting Complex and skirting around town. Ironically, we crossed over Steggalls Road when Kaffir was seen chatting up a very good looking chick (a hen). This hen decided to follow him up the road for a while until she got a better offer and Kaffir had run off. Next, we zipped passed the Ginger Factory but we didn’t see the Gruffalo as we ran through the woods. As we ducked (no chickens were harmed) under the railway bridge, we headed along Old Gympie Road. At the round-a-about the FRBs namely Next Week, Beams, Nathan and Joel continued their climb up the steepish road with an elevation of more than 51 metres only to be told by Leach that the trail was meant to take a right turn. As Next Week was already at the top of the road, he decided to continue to loop back home.

The run report by Kaffir which was very informative yet we still got jeering from the rowdy disruptive hashers. Whistleblower gave the walkers report which she scored 10/10 – a very delightful introduction run for 2024 as we tried to work off our Xmas/New Year’s excesses. Our FGM gave a toast to our recently departed fellow hasher Band Aid who tragically lost her life during the Gympie storms. On On to Hash Heaven.

The Down Downs were given to:

• Visitors/returnees: Nathan (Licker’s son) and mate Joel – they also got another one for being the ‘young fit stallions’ at the start but soon ran out of steam and couldn’t keep up with the oldies
• All Fours tried to charge Boobs as there was a bloke that really looked like him waving to All Fours at the Noosa Civic, but that was a reverse charge
• Bedspringer – saw the very good looking hen on the side of the road and made some good chicken jokes about Kaffir being a chic magnet and why the chicken crossed the road
• Nafa got a charge from Nathan having ‘given him one from behind’ then smirked off on the run to take a short cut and walked back to the bucket
• Insultan thought he would spring clean the house, including cleaning the stove which was still hot that he burnt his fingers and couldn’t play golf or wank at the same time…
• Next Week got the Hashit Award for insisting on taking everyone up the hill as he had prior knowledge of the trail that he took an alternative route home
• Nathan, Joel, Beams, Next Week for leading everyone astray and ran an extra kilometre as they missed the arrows at the round-a-bout
• Red Knob apparently has a hole in his shorts but fortunately he was wearing underwear, only Licker was the only one who saw it – we don’t know why she was staring at his crotch in the first place…

Thanks to our first hares of 2024 Wetcheck & Kondom for the great trail (which wasn’t in Tewantin – surprise!).

On On
All Fours

Date: Monday 18/12/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Hoarder & Tailend

A great way to finish 2023 was to have a trail set by Tailend and Hoarder which was to get on board the free bus and head off towards Sunshine Beach. It was kind of DIY’ish where you could choose your own distance.

Once the Hashers were on board, they almost filled the bus leaving behind a few stragglers waving us off. We were only about 1.3km down the road when the bell rang for the first stop – ooohhh it was Snot who was the only one that got off. A few hopped off at the Yachtie to hydrate from the heat and ‘pretended’ to do some vigorous exercise and walk back to the bucket – it wasn’t Slurps, Mother Trucker, Ma’ Dog was it? The last stop was Noosa Parade at Quamby Place where the diehards: Beams, Next Week, Nafa, Say No More, All Fours, Kaffir and two athletic walkers: Mozzie and Treadie got off. As we were crossing the bridge there were a few crazy people about to jump off the bridge which I hope was deep enough for diving – we didn’t stick around to find out! It was a very pleasant 5km jog mostly along the river where we weaved our way around people back to the bucket at the Tewantin RSL Park.

Mozzie gave the run report having forgotten to press the bell on the bus any earlier with Treadie but did the runners distance of 5km from the Quamby Stop. It was a lovely, scenic run, great idea with the bus trip as there were so many young people curious about these oldies on the bus that were chatting away animatedly like school kids. A few Milestone Awards were given to Slurps & Bundy (550 Runs) and Ride On (1450 Runs). Red Knob drew Licorice Nipples to win the Hamper basket prize but she declined it and had a redraw, which Long Prong won. The other Christmas chocolate stocking prize went to Lusharse.

The Down Downs were given to:

• Visitors: Insex & Snot (Mackay), Nathan (Licker’s son)
• Snot – 1st person to press the bell after 2nd bus stop not far up the road
• Slurps & Dun Rootin’ – the ‘Shake Ladies’ pretending to be the Chrissy who lost 29kgs for drinking shakes were posing at the bus stop next to the advertisement (see photo)
• Beams & Got Off – being the conscious healthy people, Got Off was using the Qantas Wellbeing App to track the number of steps. Apparently you can get Qantas points by walking and even sleeping, but Beams is already one step ahead of you as he’s been using this App for ages…
• Say No More – wondering if she really is blonde as she didn’t know where the run was tonight despite supposedly looking on the website and Facebook…
• Floosie – for not choosing Possum to sing a down down song
• All Fours – the RA’s Anti Rain App is working too well that the F’in GM wants rain to cool her down.

Thanks to our hares Hoarder and Tailend for the great trail and supper! Again, a massive thanks to these two for consistently assisting bucket duties each week – and they’re not even on the committee!

WOW, what a year this has been and finally the Noosa Hash Committee get two weeks holiday. We managed to score first class tickets on a cruise to the Bahamas with all the hash funds and as a thanks to all our members we’ll send you a postcard…

On On until NEXT YEAR – YAYYYYYY!!!

All Fours

P.S. The Noosa Hash Committee office will be closed for two weeks. Any complaints – TELL SOMEONE WHO CARES!!!

Date: Monday 11/12/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Noosa H3 Committee Elves & Reindeers

Fa la la la la la la la!  Did you know that there’s 82 ‘las’ after the fa in Deck the Halls? Well, now you know some useless trivia!

What a jolly bunch of hashers that gathered at Santa’s Thai Palace for the Christmas run, all decked out in their Christmas garb! Kaffir set the Yuletide trail very early in the morning to ensure he wouldn’t be seen laying trail and grafittiing the pavement around town. It was rather hilarious to see a bunch of Christmas goers dressed as Elves, Santas, tinsel wearers wandering around the streets of Tewantin, whereas the public must’ve thought the Tewantin Aged Care facility had escapees… Most followed along like sheep ignoring checks and taking shortcuts to the first drink stop which was at Kaffir’s on Hay Street. We were greeted with jelly shots and strong G&Ts. After a short interlude, we were off 750m down the road to the second drink stop. What a delight that was at GB & Recharge’s where prawns, prosecco and limoncello spritz were had! The hashers had another kilometre to walk off the excesses before they arrived at All Fours & Next Week’s for the third drink stop which consisted of port, chocolate fingers and homemade Christmas cookies (for those who asked, see recipe in the Tidbits section of the Hash Trash). After all was drunk and cookies eaten, it was only another 450m stagger back home.

There were heaps of raffle prizes drawn, but the major hamper prize went to Popeye who was very keen to put it in a safe place away from any potential thieving hashers – like who on earth would pinch an Ikea fork? A couple of Milestone Awards were given to Lusharse (1300 Runs) and Haybales (1000 Runs). Sukkon, Weak As and Reverse Thrust gave an eulogy to ‘King’ Cone who has gone ON ON’ing to the Hash Heavens.

The Down Downs were given to:

• Licker – for being absent at a recent social function. When we phoned her, she said she was rather busy as she was about to ‘come in her PJs!’
• Kaffir – bought a brand new ute that has awesome towing capacity of 3,500kg but refused to tow Breathless’ small trailer as he didn’t want to scratch it (the ute – not the trailer!)
• Nafa – for being gullible, taking directions from Kaffir only to end up at Breathless’ house and taking Mozzie along on the false trail. He got the ice treatment on other several charges that Kaffir bestowed upon him.
• At this stage, the circle was being over run by others that I don’t seem to remember what happened next – it was a blur, but fortunately not the photos…

While we waited for the Christmas feast to be served, Possum led the Christmas Hash Carollers (Reverse Thrust, Floosie, Kaffir) to entertain the rowdy crowd. OMG what a fantastic spread of Roast Chicken, Turkey, Pork, Ham and salads galore that was prepared for the hungry mob who easily managed to demolish! But wait, there’s more… Christmas Pudding with brandy butter and ice cream to finish a fabulous, festive feast!

A massive THANKS goes to Mr and Mrs Santa Claus – Reverse Thrust and BedSpringer for hosting the event at their humble Thai Palace. Thanks to the drinks stop hosts – Kaffir, GB, Recharge, All Fours and Next Week. The final thanks goes to all the wonderful Elves Chefs that prepared the AMAZING feast – Possum, Licorice Nipples, Licker, Carrie, Be Prepared, Got Off, Hoarder, Floosie, Screamer, Dun Rootin’ and All Fours. I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone but this wouldn’t have been such a success if it wasn’t for YOU participating!

On On to the very TAILEND of the year– it’s the last run for 2023 which will be set by Tailend and Hoarder.

All Fours

Date: Monday 4/12/23
Location: Amamoor
Hares: Gympie Hash

An excellent roll up for the joint Christmas run with Sunshine Coast, Noosa & Hinterland. There were 64 hashers who took to the paddocks, squeezed through at least 2 holes in barbed wire fences, dodged an excited roof gorilla with a spray gun, traversed farms and roads around Amamoor for a fun evening of running, walking, chatting, laughter, drinks and nosh. Santa made a guest appearance alongside his aspiring busty assistant May Day modelling the latest push up bra. It was great to see approx. 29 runners and heaps of younger people – as Kaffir said, start bringing your grandchildren to Noosa H3!

The runners trail was only 5.12km but there was a 158m elevation gain and Strava was cheeky enough to congratulate me on running my fastest mile (when we were going downhill). Passing through the paddocks, we fortunately didn’t have any charging bulls but only a few avocado trees left as farmer Derek had ploughed them up. We met the walkers halfway up the hill for the drink stop at farmer Derek’s shed. The runners went cross country and continued up the hill, only to come back down the other side. As it was getting dark, we were fortunate enough to have young Chicken Little wear flashing red and green trainers guide us home as Rudolph was indisposed.

Dolly (Gympie GM) ran the circle with a few charges, namely dobbed her sister, Nozzle and May Day for getting speeding fines. There was a call out to all the GMs present for a down down: Dolly (Gympie), Haybales (Hinterland), Wonky (Maroochy Moonlighters), Licker (Noosa), Kaffir (Larrikins). There were a couple of jokes told – one about Jesus and the other about a penguin.

We all then queued up to order our freshly made burgers. Despite a wee wait for the food, the burgers was absolutely DELICIOUS! A huge thank you to the volunteers of Friends of Amamoor for manning their amazing bar for us, Tracey and Russell and crew for the top nosh burgers from the Village Green Cafe.

Thanks to our wonderful hosts Gympie H3 – a FABULOUS jaunty to Amamoor!

On On to our Yuletide festivities…
All Fours

Date: Monday 27/11/23
Location: Noosaville
Hare: Biggles

Even with a light sprinkling of rain, it didn’t deter the hashers who came along to support Biggles (not a virgin, not a pilot for Virgin Airlines but a virgin hare for Noosa). Quite a few hashers asked me who this Biggles was and if he was new – well, now you know!

Starting from the Tewantin Noosa Lions Park, next to the Yachtie Club we encountered our first check. Whistleblower was striding off to the left in search of trail withTriar F closely behind while most went right and over the walk bridge. We followed along the Noosa Waters and headed over to the newer Noosa Waters housing estate, namely past the hare’s house on Ely Street. There were plenty of checks, false trails/on backs to keep us together and a walkers and runners split. We cut through the Good Shepherd school carpark, skirted along the Walter Hay Dr to loop back into Noosa Waters estate only to go come back out at the other end to Saltwater Ave. By this time, those who knew the area had ample chances to cut back on any of the streets back to Gympie Terrace. Those who stuck on the trail reached James Street before getting onto the home straight along the Noosa River and it was still another kilometre to get back. It was just getting dark but we could see the lovely red and white baubles lit, hanging on the trees next to the sheltered BBQ area. All in all, it was rather a delightful run of 7.27km recorded on Strava!

The run report was given by Weak As – it would have been good but thought there were too limited choices of where to run along Gympie Terrace and he thought the hare(s) decided to stop marking trail, so he scored it 1/10 and called it ‘SH*T’. I didn’t think that sounded fair, so I asked for a second option with Mozzie giving a walkers perspective. She thought it was wonderful, no real rain, scenic enough stroll through Noosa Waters and along the river and she scored it 8/10!

Down downs were:

• Triar F – Hashit Award for 2 reasons: at the very first check he decided to continue walking even though he knew it was an On Back and insisted we follow; raided his piggy bank & gave Hash Cash a dozen pieces of silver for a drink!
• Afterbirth- visitor from Sydney Larrikins who gave us the story on how he got named as soon as his wife gave birth…
• Weak As – a double charge for his shenanigans @ the Mekong Hash. He was thrown in jail for upsetting the locals by wearing the flag as his sarong and flashing the ‘star’, also he carried opened alcohol through customs (naughty boy!)
• Digit Digester, Treadie, Weak As – returnees hash tragics from the Mekong Hash
• Elite Athletes: Miss Belinda Snogs & Ma’ Dog – Snogs walked really fast on the runners trail after explaining what her training diet was today (banana cake with lashings of whipped cream & choc mint slice), Ma’ Dog was training so hard he pulled his groin muscle (or was it a pain in the arse?)
• More Athletes: Nafa – not wearing a shirt to show off his body when people in the park thought it was a pregnant woman running. Afterbirth – rolled up his shirt showing off his mid drift (six pack or was it a keg?)
• Insultan – another naughty boy, nicked the Coffs Harbour H3 banner and wanted everyone to deface it with permanent markers. He tried to blame someone else for taking it (a tall person?!)

It was then, pizzas, garlic bread and accompaniments of a selection of salads was served – we were suitably impressed! Thanks to our hare Biggles who wasn’t flying solo but had a co-pilot Nafa who set a fabulous run! On On to Amamoor next week as we head into our crazy season of festivities…

On On
All Fours

Date: Monday 20/11/23
Location: Tinbeerwah
Hare: Lusharse & Minder

The ‘On & Off’ again run was definitely ON ON tonight! There were bus loads, cars and trucks of hashers all rocking up to Tinbeerwah that Minder had to stand at the gate and usher them into the carparking lot. Finally, they all managed to squeeze onto the property and find the large group sheltering in the shed from the light showers. The music was pumping, beer was flowing, the party was just getting started…

5pm on the dot, some hashers were getting agitated and were very keen to head off on the run. As we headed out the driveway, Carrie was a little late so she put her bag down inside the telephone box. Down Kingsgate Drive, along Sunrise Road, we were soon in the Wooroi Forest and bush tracks. There was no sign of wildlife, only their droppings and light drizzle which made some trails a wee bit slippy. Fortunately, Minder was sensible enough to set the trail with flour (GLUTEN FREE) and it managed to mostly stay intact in the rain. There were only 2 runners: Nafa and Toothprick who managed to find most checks with Toothprick kindly marking off the checks with his umbrella. On the map, it only appeared as a tiny little loop of the corner of the Wooroi Forest but we managed a 4.13km stroll around Tinbeerwah.

The run report was given by Miss Belinda Snogs – a great little walk through some great bush trails, a little slippy in some places, up a couple of inclines but reasonably well marked in flour despite the amount of rain we have had and it was very enjoyable.

Down downs were:

• Blameless – asked if I was the GM or the RA tonight. I said I can be anything he wants if he has the right money but he was too tight to pay anything – the cheapskate! He then sipped his down down drink slowly because it was too cold to skull it (what a wuss!)
• Tailend – leading his harem home safely, especially for the 2 geographically challenged BP & Snogs not knowing where they were last week!
• Whistleblower – showed us her right arm in a cast/bandage but it was her left arm that she hurt a month ago when she fell, so the moment she saw the bush/treacherous trail, she turned back (wise lady – fortunately, no incidents to report tonight!)
• The Milestone Award: Miss Belinda Snogs (25 runs)
• Toothprick – visitor from Boarder Hash, here for 3 weeks holiday has bought the nice weather, but we need the rain! He was at least running to keep Nafa company.
• Triar F – another ‘wimpy’ hasher when he saw the first sight of dirt he decided to turn back while everyone else was declaring that he was wearing ‘new’ shoes. Admittedly the soles were a little white on the black shoes…

Then it was dinner time with pots of chilli con carne and rice. I hope Minder didn’t have too much left overs to have for the rest of the week or two. Thanks to the hares Lusharse & Minder. The RA’s Anti-Rain App was broken this week, but it will be ‘right as rain’ for next week…

On On
All Fours

Date: Monday 13/11/23
Location: Tewantin
Hare: Unremarkable (is well & truly REMARKABLE!)

HOORAY! This was a REMARKABLE day when Unremarkable saved the Hash from having a hareless Monday by stepping up to set a run! Even their neighbours at #113 invited us to park across his driveway! I’ve got a feeling, that tonight’s going to be a good night…

Unremarkable gave a few directional instructions about the trail, but as soon as we stepped out onto Griffith Ave, Minder was already confused. He couldn’t quite understand whether it was left or right, even though the arrow was clearly marked RIGHT! The trail led us down Griffith Ave, Harlow Crescent, bush tracks, onto Palm Grove Crescent, crossing over Griffith Ave, more bush tracks, Carramar St, Tinaroo Pl and DRINK STOP! But alas, there were only 3 sweeties left after it had been demolished by the walkers. We decided to leave them for the remainder of the runners and the slow ones. Skirting around the Heritage Park, we were soon back onto Billabong Way, crossing Griffith Ave (again) and back home! I wonder how many people realise the significance of the street names around this area on the trail – Griffith, Cicada, Woodland, Raintree, Forest, Cedarleigh, Oakland, Fontaine, Cyprus, Palm Grove, Palmer, Carramar, Tinaroo. Can you see the woods for the trees or is that a dense question?!

The walkers report was given by Boobs – thought the markings were a little sparse and spread over long distances, a short 3ish km wander for the walkers which he harshly scored -2/10. The runners report was given by Next Week – a short and sweet trail of 4.39km with the hare setting a runners loop, through bush and paths which were reasonably well marked. He scored it -1/10 but it would’ve been 9/10 had there been an abundance of sweets available at the drink stop!

Down downs were:

• Unremarkable received the Hashit Award: for eating all the promised sweets at the drink stop and tried to blame all the walkers!
• Long Prong – had a should’ve gone to Spec Savers moment as he thought he was following Be Prepared in shorts on the trail until this mysterious person disappeared into another house that he realised that it wasn’t her (he has had his cataracts done but still needs his glasses to correct his eyesight was his excuse)
• Slurps – for coming in last as she was waylaid on the trail chatting to an old hasher
• Carrie – volunteering for anything and everything – I think we have a very keen potential committee candidate for next year!
• Triar F – for completing the whole run which was more than what Minder did and even gave a good recap of the trail
• The geographically challenged trio – Snogs & BP were driving around aimlessly looking for the correct address on their GPS’s and were late, whereas Ma’ Dog thought I had put the wrong address on the website of 17 instead of 117 as he hadn’t seen the ‘1’ on the above line on his mobile phone
• The Milestone Awards correction from last week: Minder (1,400 runs) & Mother Trucker (100 runs). Also, Minder would like to point out that he has actually done1,401 runs now (do you think he’s reading this now?!)
• Lech – welcome back from his travels from Indochina Hash, lots of hashing, drinking and catching up with all his ex wives and 27 children (that he can recall)
• Birthday: Tailend (73 candles), poor guy who had to pour and provide his own down down birthday drink!

A few announcements, namely the Mystery Brewery Tour – Sun 3 Dec; Gympie H3 Combined Christmas Run – Mon 4 Dec; Noosa H3 Christmas Run – Mon 11 Dec; Noosa H3 ‘Not the Australia Day’ Weekend Away – Fri 2-4 Feb.

The GM excused herself to start serving Swedish meatballs on mash with some green things called broccoli! Thanks to a number of hash helpers that may go unnoticed: Licker (catering), Tailend (drinks pourer), Bundy (serving) and Screamer (hostess). And last but not the least – thanks to Unremarkable for stepping up to the mark to be our #2269th HARE!

On On
All Fours

Date: Monday 6/11/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Licorice Nipples & Next Week

‘Twas the day before the Big Event of the running of the 2023 Melbourne Cup – the 163rd iteration of the historic race. Instead of horses, there were lame hashers but at least most of the ladies did at least wear a fascinator or hat.

We started on Hilton Esplande and sauntered along the Noosa River until the first check where Nafa went off on his own trail. Only Beams, All Fours, Licker and Miss Belinda Snogs entered into the Noosa Lakes Resort only to lose trail due to the early downpour that wiped some trail. We eventually found a gate that led us back onto trail to join up with the rest of the pack. The runners and walkers split happened shortly after with the runners skirting along a track parallel to Goodchap St and at the back of the hospital until we reached Wallace Park to join up with the walkers trail. Licker passed by her back gate proudly showing us the results of using Roundup on her garden (it was rather brown or dead!). Instead of inviting us in for a beer (which Beams was sorely disappointed) she went in to use the toilet. The trail took us by Noosa Waters until we got to Gibson St and the underpass where we spotted Got Off across the road. Licker decidedly took a shortcut home as she didn’t want to leave all those poor hashers thirsty at the bucket (what a considerate GM/Beer Meister!). Soon, we were heading back along Hilton Terrace and home – a wonderful 5.45km trail.

The Wonky Waddlers report was given by Triar F – the trail went this way and that way, waddling down the river, passed the Nguyen Brothers Restaurant, down and around the block and back home. Nafa gave the runners report – feeling a little lonely most of the time as he was way ahead of everyone else, he even asked locals for directions and if they had seen arrows, with one paying him a compliment (NOT) about sinking in the mud when it rained too much and that he wouldn’t be able to see any trail.

A reasonable quick and short show of down downs were:

• Mother Trucker receiving the Hashit Award: for rubbing it in for Licker as she got her leg over!
• Beams – who said chivalry was dead as this week he was going to fight off all the nasty Trolls along the underpass by the river @ Gibson Road
• Screamer – at a shopping centre carpark she went to pay she couldn’t remember what her car registration plate was but Ma’ Dog & Unremarkable know…
• Licker – for stopping at her house in search of an excellent loo but wouldn’t let Beams in for a beer stop. Hares Next Week & Licorice Nipples also received a down down for not having a drink stop at Lickers – a prime spot!
• Miss Belinda Snogs – showering before going to hash as Licorice thinks she was going to ‘pick up’ at the Bowlo, but she told us it was a shower after having a ‘liaison’
• Milestone Awards: Minder & Roobarb (too many to mention!)
• Birthdays: Breathless, Ride On, Mozzie, Red Knob

We then piled into the Noosa Lawns Club (Bowlo) for some sort of Chinese banquet (it might have been the lame horses that weren’t send to the glue factory). The Best Ladies hat/fascinator prize went to Hairy Mickey while Insultan wore and won the Best Mens hat prize. Meanwhile, the big time punters who entered into the 50c, $1, $2 sweepstakes was drawn with the big prize money winner of $34 going to Bundy. Thanks to the DSIs (Holy Smoke & Floosie & assisted by Mad Dog who organised the sweep. I wanted to win the piñata donkey/horse (it was kind of cute with big eye lashes) but Floosie wouldn’t given him up! Thanks to the hares, Licorice Nipples and Next Week for a good trot around Noosaville. BTW – did you know that Mark Zahra made history as the first jockey in decades to ride back-to-back Cup winners, when he steered Irish horse Without A Fight to victory – same jockey but different horse.

On On
All Fours