Run: #2259 Blameless or Faultless???

Date: Monday 4/9/23
Location: Tewantin
Hares: Slurps & Ma’ Dog

Tonight’s run in Tewantin was BLAMELESS! Therefore I, Ma’ Dog + Slurps, take no responsibility for the shit weather, lack of trail i.e. no arrows, length of the run, shortness of the walk, topography and no drink stop. You can’t get anymore blameless than that at Hash, no can you!

What a great day to lay a run ‘not’, howling winds, rain horizontal and a tad chilly. So much for the R.A.’s good weather app on her phone, about as useful as a one legged man, in an ass kicking contest! I did tried to set a run but to no avail and I got pissed on from a great height and all arrows deluged away. Yet low and behold, ten minutes before the run, the deluge stopped and the firking sun came out. Surprisingly, a good number of hashers turned out for the run, like Kondom & Wetcheck, all the way from Buderim, which put our local ‘pikers’ to shame.

At 5pm on the dot, we set off, or maybe not? We had to wait for Ride-on to change his glasses but it didn’t make any difference, he’s still looks an ugly old bastard. So, I improvised – I gave the runners my trail marked map and took the walkers backwards through old Tewantin. We sort of made it up as we went along, heading up Ward Street, with inputs from our two ‘arty farty’s’ Woof Woof & Whistleblower. Kondom, the resident Octogenarian, kept up a fine pace and dragged along Sir Minder, who surprisingly lasted the distance. The runners, All Fours & Next Week, with Licker, the birthday girl keeping up the rear, passed us twice enroute, which was good to see. I think the walkers managed about just over 3kms and the runners 5.3km, as they shortcut a little bit. At the end of our run we headed back down Ward Street, through the park and home. Some of the walkers were a bit slow on the uptake and were confused, as the arrows were facing the wrong way doh! Forgetting I didn’t lay any, it was actually All Fours doing it for the runners, as she went – told you it’s not my fault!

When we arrived back, Slurps my illustrious co-hare, had exceeded herself, flipping burgers and chicken schnitzels, with DT on the onions and cooked the nosh too early. Trying to assist Slurps a plethora of hashers tried to ignite the two spare BBQ’s. We read the instructions, pressed the said button for 6 seconds but no joy. Only later we realised we were pressing the decal, explaining the operation, not the ‘ON’ button on the right and it’s not my fault we hadn’t been drinking enough! It was just one of those ‘Reverse’ nights and so we did food first and the ‘Circle’ after and Reverse Thrust was in attendance too.

For the ‘Circle’ we welcomed back our resident ‘Song Mistress’ Possum, whose absence for a month, has seen our song repertoire, into a decline. As Boobs so aptly mentioned, just the same old song reiterated, again & again. So, to hear her foghorn like vocal cords, waxing lyrical, with her renditions of Hash songs, was wonderful. Many charges were laid, me getting four, including the ‘Hashit’ toilet seat, for shit stirring, as though I’m ever guilty of that. Popeye, ‘cos his dog Thunderbolt (who was so SHIT scared of the lightning) did a huge sloppy dump and he apparently neglected to pick it up (not the dog’s fault that Popeye fed him curry). DT for getting an earful from his better half Woof Woof and not remembering why? Our GM ‘Licker’ for her cumming of age today, somewhere between 45 & 70, that’s the age bit, not the cumming!

Licker reminded us about the ‘progressive dinner stagger’ next week, starting at the Breathless’ abode and ending back there, so put it in your social calendar you old farts, somewhere between, lawn bowls, bingo and line dancing! BTW, it’s not my fault that Licker’s poster had the wrong date of 12 September instead of 11 September!

On On
Ma’ Dog (aka Hashit)